Like a cool breeze...

In the path of life where things are not always pleasant, people are not always loving and situations are not always favorable; there is someone waiting to come to you, give you a hug, kiss on your forehead and say “Don’t worry now, I will love you, take care of you. Through the thicks and thins of life whenever you will look up you will find me holding your hand. I will be your shade on sunny days, your warmth on cold nights. I will lighten your way on dark scary paths and give you the strength to fight your worst nightmares. I will give you wings to fly and explore your horizons. I will relieve your from all your pains and sorrows. No matter what happens I will always LOVE YOU."

How to say "Those three words"

Falling in love is easy, expressing it is tough.

I have seen lots of people around me struggling to say “I love You”. Somehow your head starts spinning, your hands and feet get numb, your vision turns blurred, your tongue is tied and the glory of the moment passes and leaves you thinking why I couldn’t say it. I may have exaggerated this a bit but I am sure that some people will agree with me.

Expressing love is not easy because when we think of doing that we get encompassed by many thoughts. “What if he/she says No”, “I don’t want to loose his/her friendship”, “Is this the right time to say it”, “Am I ready for this commitment”, “I will not be a laughing stock of all the people”, “When is the right moment to take this step”, “How will life will be after this proposition”.

I feel that few things should be thought of well before you think of expressing love. And here I am talking about serious love and commitment and not teenage flings. You should be sure that you are ready for a commitment and what will be the future of your relationship. One friend of mine has once said “I love you” to me. My very next question was “If I say I love u too, what does this mean to you. What have you decided for a relationship that we may form after my yes? What will be the future of it?” He had no answer and so clearly my answer was NO to him. So first answer these questions to yourself and when your are sure about things then its time to take the next step. Please don’t assume that if you have answers to all these questions you will surely get a Yes. But if you don’t have answers to all these questions you will surely get a NO.

Now you are ready to finally say it. Time and place does matter. Don’t choose a very crowded place or a rush hour. Try to go to his/her favorite place but don’t over prepare the place and surroundings. You don’t have to become a poet or a writer to say this. Most beautiful things are expressed in most simple words. You should have answers regarding the future of the relationship and how have you decided to go about things. You should be able to make the other person realize that how important he/she is for you and what positive impact they have in your life. But the most important thing is to keep an open mind. He/She may be a great friend of yours but it’s not necessary for them to reciprocate your feelings. And you can be great friends even after his/her NO.

Saying is always better then keeping it in heart and then regretting later that you should have said that. Go ahead and say it and if your feelings are true sooner or later you will be showered with love.

Blind Date - The Love Story - Part 1

She was nervous. It was the first time she was meeting him. Thoughts were surrounding her everywhere. “Will he like me or not? Are we the ones for each other? Does he love me?”

They first bumped into each other some eight months back. She was in final year of Law College and her brother from US has got her a new cellphone. Her curiosity with the new gadget somehow dialed a number and it was him at the other side. It was a normal two second wrong number chit chat. But there was some force somewhere acting in bringing these two souls together and so he called her back again. It was awkward for her to get a call from complete stranger whom number she dialed by mistake. And the first thought was that this guy is some bad, vagabond guy groping for a girl. But he sounded nice and she couldn’t refuse that she felt attracted to his voice. And so after initial awkwardness they started talking. And slowly he became a part of her life. He was the one voice she wished to listen before going to sleep. He was the one voice she wished to hear first in the morning. They used to talk about their likes, dislikes, dreams, aspirations, friends, family, work, society and almost everything. Her friends already started teasing her on her new found lover. Life was like a fairy tale.

He was an architect and was working with one US multinational firm. Till this time they were more then happy and contented talking to each other and so they never thought of an actual meeting. But one fine day he got to know that he will have to travel to California for some project in 2 weeks time. That was the time he asked her to meet him. She always wanted to meet him and so without a second thought she agreed. But soon the thought of meeting him made her miserable. The reason was that she was not good looking. She was little fat had wheatish complexion, rough hair and a slight limp in her right leg. He on the other hand was gorgeous. Six feet tall, nice built and fair. Though they have exchanged their pictures earlier but she was always in doubt that he will not love her after they meet. But anyways whatever will be the outcome, they were destined to meet.

A knock on the door brought her back from the trance. Her friends came to see her and boost her for the big day. “Life is so tough without friends” thought she. Somebody got her a new dress, somebody a new footwear and some were just busy putting makeup on her not so beautiful face, in the hope that this will make her shine on her big day. They all unanimously decided that a white Indian dress will be the best for the occasion. She always looked nice in whites, atleast people always said so. But she was not bothered about all that. Her heart was in a bigger trauma. So many memories from the past, so many doubts about the future. Her feeling of joy to meet him was crushed by so many second thoughts.

She was alone again. All her friends left. Her thoughts were running faster then time and tears were rolling down her eyes. The very idea of he leaving her was killing her. She cannot take it anymore and then almost impulsively reached out for the phone.

“Hello” he said and without waiting for her to say anything he continued, “I am so excited about today evening. I can’t express my feelings in words. I...”

“Listen” she interrupted in between. “There is something I want to say”, her voice trembled, her face was red and tears well rolling continuously. “I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to meet. I really like you but I don’t see my future with you. This may sound rough but I can’t live with this feeling anymore. I think we should just be apart and don’t try to see and talk to each other now”. She finally said those words, the words that bruised her heart so deep that the pain will never heal, the words that stabbed her soul, the words that shook her existence, the words that took away all her joy and love from her life.

He was dumbstruck. It was like someone hammered him so hard that his whole body was numb. “Who says that guys don’t cry” he thought wiping his tears. Before he could even think of anything to say she kept the phone down.

There was silence, dead silence. “Is it the same feeling that one gets just seconds before dying?” Both were thinking that. She was happy for him as she thought that he deserved someone much better then her. He was blank, thoughtless, vulnerable and unable to think what went wrong. She kept staring at the phone, a some part of her still felt that he will call her back, but he didn’t. “And why would he, I did so wrong to him. I don’t deserve him and his love. I don’t deserve anything in life.” thought she. And after crying profusely for sometime she slept.

All love stories don’t always have a happy ending. I don’t know about this one until I write the second part…

Long Distance Relationship

“Absence is to love as wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small and kindles the great”

One kind of relationship which no one willingly wants to go for is a long distance. The very idea of not being able to hold your beloved’s hand, look into each other’s eyes or kiss each other; makes it miserable. There are times when you are low, there are times when you are high and in all those times you need your love close to you. So basically a long distance relationship is not a great idea. But the fact is some of the times it’s not really in our hands to decide what kind of relationship we want to be in. There may be other commitments (both professional and personal) which may prevent one from being physically close to their love for some time. And so instead of complaining about this one should look at the bright side of this kind of relationship.

A long distance relationship makes you expressive verbally. You cannot touch and see each other, than words are the only ways to convey feelings.

A long distance relationship makes you emotionally strong and stable. You try to resolve problems on your own instead of just relying on your partner.

A long distance relationship brings out the actual depth of a relation. As now the bonding between two people is beyond physical desires. As it is rightly said, absence makes the heart grow fonder.

A long distance relationship makes you realize the importance of your love. When you miss your love in all little little things, you come to know how much they are an integral part of your life.

A long distance relationship gives you a chance to give time to people who are also important in your life like your friends.

Ofcourse there is nothing greater than being with your love all the time. But a long distance relationship increases the ecstasy of meeting your love. And for relief of every love bird there, don’t forget that in today’s time your love is just a phone call away or just a few hours of flight away :-).

I love you…I actually do

This one is for all the people who are in relationships and I am particularly talking about long distance relationships. So when the two love birds are separated by miles and miles, the only ways to keep in touch are phones, chat engines, emails and probably letters. I can understand the pain that comes when you are separated from your soul mate and so I am in no way trying to increase your pain here. In fact I will try to bring out the lighter side of it by mocking a typical conversation that happens between these love birds on a daily basis.

Boy: Hey honey…how are you?

Girl: Same question in every two hours. I am all good sweetheart.

Boy: You will be all good. It’s me who is running into huge cell phone bills. Great to hear that. How was your day?

Girl: All days are the same. I don’t know why this question comes again and again. Day was ok. Nothing much happened. You had your dinner?

Boy: This girl only thinks about food. Yes I had it. Now next question will be what I had? God! Save me.

Girl: What you had?

Boy: Hehe…I told you. I had aloo paratha.

Girl: That’s good. So tell me about your day. Ohhh God now I’ll have to bear with all the technical details of his work.

Boy: I had a tough day. Remember that module in which I was getting the ora error 0555….

Girl: Zzzzzzzzz

Boy: Finally it got resolved when I changed the calling sequence in the main module…

Girl: Zzzzzzzzz

Boy: You are getting me…right?

Girl: Yes of course. Please save me God.

Boy: Tell me about your day.

Girl: I had a great day. Remember the top that you had gifted me. I wore it today at work and got loads of compliment.

Boy: Girlszzzzzzzzzzzzzz…their day is good only when people compliment them. They seem to be a major reason of global recession. No work, only gossip. That’s great honey. You look fabulous in that one. Yeah I mean it.

Girl: I look good in it because you have gifted me that. Yeah I mean it. And as such I look good all the time.

Boy: I’ll have to doze off now sweetie. I have to get up early tomorrow. I really want to talk more though.

Girl: Sure baby. He didn’t talk anything romantic :(.

Boy: I love you. I actually do.

Girl: I love you too. I actually do.

And this is how it goes. I had tried to put it in a lighter way as my sole intention here is to generate some humor. If you can relate to it, well and good. If you can’t just enjoy the conversation.

A woman’s perspective

What woman wants? Well that’s a difficult question as you all know. And I am in no way attempting to answer this here. Mostly guys wonder what will be the ways to win a woman. There have been many things written as a guide for that, a list of all do’s and don’ts. Well this is my version of it. This may stand true for most cases and may not for many others. You know women are so different. But yeah well this is at least my side of the story.

The first thing is intelligence. Yes woman are crazy for guys who are intelligent. So guys buckle up. If you have your facts and logic in place, women will be all around you.

The second thing is sophistication. Yes woman do get attracted to sexy velvet English or neutral accents and impeccable styles, dressing and behavior. So if you burp in public or do belching while eating or talk in a vernacular accent or smell like shit or wear crumpled clothing or have unkempt hair, then I am sorry to say you have a long way to go to find a woman.

The third thing is confidence. This can really help to sweep her off her feet. So approach a woman with your chin up, shoulders straight, poised posture, mature voice and I bet she will be all yours. And if you are fumbling, stammering or wavering then my friend better luck next time.

The fourth thing is give attention to her. So if she is looking pretty then don’t hesitate in giving a genuine compliment. But please don’t resort to fake appreciations as all women may not be so dumb to understand it.

Well I guess at this point you might be thinking that I am talking about all external or physical factors. Actually these factors are important to at least get into proximity of a woman. If you don’t have them, believe me how good you are as a person, it will be difficult for you to make her yours. But to make a woman fall in love with you, you need much more then these external/physical things. Let’s try and explore that.

You should be caring. Yes if you love her it should show in the way you care for her. By caring it doesn’t mean that you are hovering around her all the time. It means that your woman feels that if anything goes wrong you will be there to protect her. If she is trapped in some problem you will be there to rescue her. It’s not necessary that you are there in her good times but you should be/must be there in her bad times.

You should not try to change her. Yes this is a big no no. Woman of today knows what is right and what is wrong. So don’t try to judge her doings. She may find it as an intrusion to her personality. But that doesn’t mean that you don’t correct her if she is on a wrong side. Talk to her, explain your view point and try to bring out the problems with her actions but always leave the final decision to her. Doing this will make her realize that she was wrong. And she will be thankful to you in guiding her but not commanding her.

I would stop here. I won’t again say the things like you should understand her and above all love her with all you have. Anyways if you have chosen a woman to be your companion for the rest of you life, loving her will come naturally.

P.S. – Not all women may have the same perspective as mine. So observe her carefully first and then only try all these. And I don’t take any guarantee for any of the things suggested above if tried on any other women apart from me :-).

Why do people fall in love…

Why do people fall in love…to some it may sound a stupid question, to some it may not even sound like a question. You love someone that’s it; there is nothing to reason in that. To some it may be as logical a question as why earth is round. Let me think which category do I fit in, frankly till recently I was in a logical group who believes that everything has a reason and can be brought down to equations where we know what is x, y and why x+y=z. Well if I sound encrypted here I am just trying to emphasize that till recently I have been a very logical person. Of course if “till recently” is catching your eye a lot, please stand by me for some more time and you will get to know.

So back to my question – why do people fall in love? The answer will be different for different people. For a five year old it’s just finding a person who will share his jolly rancher candy with him or will still give you a warm hug when you are all drenched in mud. Is this love? It might be for those 5 year olds but can’t say if we logical league of people will consider it as love.
Well then before answering why do people fall in love lets answer what is love. Well instead of putting some famous personality quote here, let me try defining it in my own way.

Love is what makes you feel good about yourself.
Love is what gives meaning to your existence.
Love is what makes world around you beautiful.
Love is like a poetry written by your own heart.
Love is like a song which you hear every time you think of that special someone.
Love is what makes you smile without a reason.
Love is what makes you complete.

Wow love is so beautiful. And so falling in love should be equally beautiful. And that’s the reason people fall in love. I would have loved to stop with this pleasing thought. But I can see people around me who are not so happy in love which makes me ponder again over my original question.

I have a friend of mine who is suffering a great deal in her love life. I was talking to her the other day trying to pacify her pain. After two years of strong and bound relationship she and her boyfriend are still wondering if they have chosen the right person. Now what went wrong here…what happened to all those lovely things that I talked about love just now? Didn’t they realize before falling that they are not meant to be together? It sometimes happens in life that you are in need of a person who can be with you, hold you and support you. This need often brings two souls close to each other. And finding such a person is so overwhelming and delightful that you are temporarily blinded by heat and shine of your new relationship. And when your eyes do open up after sometime you get a feel that this relationship was not the one you always desired for. There can be many reasons for such a feel and I don’t want to limit them by writing just few of them here.

This was the logical side of me. And I have been logical in most part of my life and believe me I do missed being loved. Love is beautiful, divine and serene. The way we don’t reason the existence of God, we should not reason the existence of love. We sometimes meet people in life who instantly make us feel that they are the ones for us. One should never let these people go.

Falling is love is like living a lifetime. One should not stop living just because one day death is a reality. Same way one should not stop loving just because you may not know where it will take you.

Love is beyond reasons…