The Last Call

It was time for the last call. He hated it but he has to do it. Whenever he made it he could hear deep sighs in the air. Some mixed with pain of going back to the real world and some in disappointment for the end of the party. Being a bartender for last 10 years he was used to all this. But unlike other people for him last call meant the end of his world as it brings back the memory of the ruinous night ten years before which not only took away his hopes, dreams and love but also his life. And for him it was all because of that last call.

It was September of 1999. Life was on a roll for him. He has got a great job and it was time for him to express his love for his college best friend and his companion is all walks of life. She used to work part time as a waitress in a bar to support her education. He was happy as he was now capable enough to take care of her and get her away from the humiliating life of a bar waitress.

He reached the bar at 11 in the night. The time of last call was 12 and so waited in one corner of the bar watching her. She passed him a smile and continued working. He ordered vodka for himself and started preparing his lines. He wanted to tell her about how deeply he loved her. How she brings hope and purpose in his life. How he wants to take care of her all his life. How he wants to give her all that she deserved. He could see himself walking the altar holding her hands. He could imagine their lovely little house and beautiful kids. A smile flashed across his face, the dream world was so lovely.

He was brought back to reality by a loud shattering noise. He was startled not realizing that it was his dreams that were shattered. He looked at his watch. It was 12. He looked around to see what has happened. He could see few people gathered around a table. He looked around for her but couldn’t find her. Anxiously he walked towards the little crowd. Somehow he struggled to make his way to a sight which was horrendous. She was lying on the floor in a little pool of blood. Smears were present all over her head. Her eyes were closed, forever, but she still looked beautiful. He fell on his knees and took her in his arms for the last time. He was not crying, some part of him died with her. People around were talking about the whole incident on how a drunk rich brat banged a bottle on her head when she refused to serve drinks after The Last Call.

A thing called Life

You were always there but I never noticed
As you were a part of my routine life
Your jokes made me smile, your teasing made me irritated
You were sometimes wise, sometimes stupid, sometimes funny and sometimes jerk
In all these forms I adored you
But I never noticed
Today when you are not around
I feel that something is missing, something that I never noticed
I can feel the void which no one can fill
If only life can give another chance, I would want to tell you
I may not notice you when you are around
But I do really “Miss you” when you are not…

Dedicated to my dear friend Gajendra, who is no longer with us :(.

Autumn Tree

There I see you going far but I cannot do anything
For that was destiny to do us apart
I always thought to hold you back with something
But I know you will not stay
You think that life will be the same without you
As I have so many still clinging on to me
You don’t know that I will not be the same when you are away
My dear friend stay happy wherever you go
But must not forget there is me standing right there where you left me
Still with open arms to embrace you
Says the tree to the departing leaf
No matter what happens to me in the years to come
I just want you to know that I will always love you..

Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna

It was going on and on. They both were somehow waiting for it to reach somewhere, some conclusion, some ending. Like a sailor struggling to reach to the shore. Every time when they met to discuss about the future of their relationship they were somehow lost in each other’s eyes. Those amazing eyes which at one point of life were the most precious treasures in the whole world. But this time they finally decided to talk once and for all to finish the miseries they both were going through.

He: I think we can still make it work. I just need some time.

She: I am ready to wait. You tell me that you will be mine after ten years then I will wait for ten years without a single word of whine. Can you assure me that?

He: Please understand that it is difficult for me to give any such commitment of time frame. All I can say is that I am trying.

She: I know that you are trying. I have been hearing this for long time and I always trusted you. But somehow you do not understand my situation. I can’t sleep in night thinking about our future, I can’t concentrate on work, I can’t enjoy anything, all I just keep thinking about is what next shock is waiting for me. I remember the lovely days I spent with you; I remember the ugly nights I have spent crying without you, I think this all is making me insane. I never thought that this relationship will give me so much pain.

He: I wish I could do something to lessen your pain. But somehow things are going out of my hand. I had always hoped that I will keep you happy but seems I am not able to that anymore. Please tell me what can I do to get you back to your ‘happy go lucky’ self?

She: If you really want to do something for me then just let me go. I had some great memories of the past with you and I atleast don’t want them to fade away because of our miserable present.

He: You know I can’t do that.

She: Life is not always the way you want it. You can’t promise to be with me and you don’t want me to go. I can’t live in such dilemma. Now since you are not able to decide its time for me to say ‘Good Bye’. I loved you and I love you but I will not always love you.

It was not easy for her to say all that. But may be he will never understand. She did cry her eyes out for so many days. But may be he will never understand. He did try to resolve things for good. But may be she will never understand.

Blind Date - The Love Story - Part 1

She was nervous. It was the first time she was meeting him. Thoughts were surrounding her everywhere. “Will he like me or not? Are we the ones for each other? Does he love me?”

They first bumped into each other some eight months back. She was in final year of Law College and her brother from US has got her a new cellphone. Her curiosity with the new gadget somehow dialed a number and it was him at the other side. It was a normal two second wrong number chit chat. But there was some force somewhere acting in bringing these two souls together and so he called her back again. It was awkward for her to get a call from complete stranger whom number she dialed by mistake. And the first thought was that this guy is some bad, vagabond guy groping for a girl. But he sounded nice and she couldn’t refuse that she felt attracted to his voice. And so after initial awkwardness they started talking. And slowly he became a part of her life. He was the one voice she wished to listen before going to sleep. He was the one voice she wished to hear first in the morning. They used to talk about their likes, dislikes, dreams, aspirations, friends, family, work, society and almost everything. Her friends already started teasing her on her new found lover. Life was like a fairy tale.

He was an architect and was working with one US multinational firm. Till this time they were more then happy and contented talking to each other and so they never thought of an actual meeting. But one fine day he got to know that he will have to travel to California for some project in 2 weeks time. That was the time he asked her to meet him. She always wanted to meet him and so without a second thought she agreed. But soon the thought of meeting him made her miserable. The reason was that she was not good looking. She was little fat had wheatish complexion, rough hair and a slight limp in her right leg. He on the other hand was gorgeous. Six feet tall, nice built and fair. Though they have exchanged their pictures earlier but she was always in doubt that he will not love her after they meet. But anyways whatever will be the outcome, they were destined to meet.

A knock on the door brought her back from the trance. Her friends came to see her and boost her for the big day. “Life is so tough without friends” thought she. Somebody got her a new dress, somebody a new footwear and some were just busy putting makeup on her not so beautiful face, in the hope that this will make her shine on her big day. They all unanimously decided that a white Indian dress will be the best for the occasion. She always looked nice in whites, atleast people always said so. But she was not bothered about all that. Her heart was in a bigger trauma. So many memories from the past, so many doubts about the future. Her feeling of joy to meet him was crushed by so many second thoughts.

She was alone again. All her friends left. Her thoughts were running faster then time and tears were rolling down her eyes. The very idea of he leaving her was killing her. She cannot take it anymore and then almost impulsively reached out for the phone.

“Hello” he said and without waiting for her to say anything he continued, “I am so excited about today evening. I can’t express my feelings in words. I...”

“Listen” she interrupted in between. “There is something I want to say”, her voice trembled, her face was red and tears well rolling continuously. “I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to meet. I really like you but I don’t see my future with you. This may sound rough but I can’t live with this feeling anymore. I think we should just be apart and don’t try to see and talk to each other now”. She finally said those words, the words that bruised her heart so deep that the pain will never heal, the words that stabbed her soul, the words that shook her existence, the words that took away all her joy and love from her life.

He was dumbstruck. It was like someone hammered him so hard that his whole body was numb. “Who says that guys don’t cry” he thought wiping his tears. Before he could even think of anything to say she kept the phone down.

There was silence, dead silence. “Is it the same feeling that one gets just seconds before dying?” Both were thinking that. She was happy for him as she thought that he deserved someone much better then her. He was blank, thoughtless, vulnerable and unable to think what went wrong. She kept staring at the phone, a some part of her still felt that he will call her back, but he didn’t. “And why would he, I did so wrong to him. I don’t deserve him and his love. I don’t deserve anything in life.” thought she. And after crying profusely for sometime she slept.

All love stories don’t always have a happy ending. I don’t know about this one until I write the second part…

Life is Precious

I came across this video in Youtube and it really touched my heart.

In today's fast and speedy world where everyone is running behind something or the other, we have somehow forgotten to live. In the tussles and struggles for things like money, fame, power and other worldly pleasures life has taken a back seat. When did it happen last time that you thanked God for giving you a beautiful life? We are never done complaining about little things without realizing that there is nothing better than a healthy and peaceful life of yours and your loved ones.

We get only one Life...cherish it...

Pain of Loneliness…

"As I close my eyes on this day

All I can see is black gloomy walls around me

Gone were those blooming flowers

Gone were those clear blue skies

Gone were those chirping birds

Gone were those smiling faces

I always felt that someone will be around all the time

But my dreams are shattered

Even my shadow has parted way!!"

P.S. - These kind of thoughts come to your mind when you are made to work on a Saturday :-(