The Last Call

It was time for the last call. He hated it but he has to do it. Whenever he made it he could hear deep sighs in the air. Some mixed with pain of going back to the real world and some in disappointment for the end of the party. Being a bartender for last 10 years he was used to all this. But unlike other people for him last call meant the end of his world as it brings back the memory of the ruinous night ten years before which not only took away his hopes, dreams and love but also his life. And for him it was all because of that last call.

It was September of 1999. Life was on a roll for him. He has got a great job and it was time for him to express his love for his college best friend and his companion is all walks of life. She used to work part time as a waitress in a bar to support her education. He was happy as he was now capable enough to take care of her and get her away from the humiliating life of a bar waitress.

He reached the bar at 11 in the night. The time of last call was 12 and so waited in one corner of the bar watching her. She passed him a smile and continued working. He ordered vodka for himself and started preparing his lines. He wanted to tell her about how deeply he loved her. How she brings hope and purpose in his life. How he wants to take care of her all his life. How he wants to give her all that she deserved. He could see himself walking the altar holding her hands. He could imagine their lovely little house and beautiful kids. A smile flashed across his face, the dream world was so lovely.

He was brought back to reality by a loud shattering noise. He was startled not realizing that it was his dreams that were shattered. He looked at his watch. It was 12. He looked around to see what has happened. He could see few people gathered around a table. He looked around for her but couldn’t find her. Anxiously he walked towards the little crowd. Somehow he struggled to make his way to a sight which was horrendous. She was lying on the floor in a little pool of blood. Smears were present all over her head. Her eyes were closed, forever, but she still looked beautiful. He fell on his knees and took her in his arms for the last time. He was not crying, some part of him died with her. People around were talking about the whole incident on how a drunk rich brat banged a bottle on her head when she refused to serve drinks after The Last Call.

A thing called Life

You were always there but I never noticed
As you were a part of my routine life
Your jokes made me smile, your teasing made me irritated
You were sometimes wise, sometimes stupid, sometimes funny and sometimes jerk
In all these forms I adored you
But I never noticed
Today when you are not around
I feel that something is missing, something that I never noticed
I can feel the void which no one can fill
If only life can give another chance, I would want to tell you
I may not notice you when you are around
But I do really “Miss you” when you are not…

Dedicated to my dear friend Gajendra, who is no longer with us :(.

There is something about Honeymoon

Yes, there is something about Honeymoon that makes people well less astute. Yesterday I was browsing one of my friends recently uploaded honeymoon pics in orkut. It is really fun to see someone’s honeymoon album, for one reason that it shows out many fascinating and bizarre moments at the same time. Here is some of the interesting stuff that one can see in someone’s honeymoon album.

• Females in awfully revealing outfits. Females, who would normally not even sport a kurta without a duppatta, will be seen wearing backless evening gowns, strange swim wears, short skirts and tight tops showing some of their desirable and mostly all undesirable curves. I agree that honeymoon is a very private and intimate occasion which fully justifies wearing sensuous attires but posting that images in public for everyone to see is little beyond sensibility.

• ‘We two are one soul two bodies’ pose. In other words man and wife very close to each other holding their, well not just hands. Ok, we understand, it’s your honeymoon, time to get cozy-pozy with each other but please posting those moments in public portal is embarrassing.

• ‘See my hotel room/bed’ pics. Guys, nobody cares what was the color of your bed sheet and walls of your hotel rooms. If you really have the itch to post some pics, we won’t mind seeing some good sceneries and picturesque landscapes.

• Lots of pics, really lots. People post like hundred odd pics of their honeymoon. Right from ‘here I am packing’ to ‘on my way to airport’ to ‘my coolie, my driver, my maid’ to ‘long queue at airport’ to ‘inside the flight’ to ‘hotel room’ to ‘dining room’ to ‘the loo’, you name it and you will find the pic.

• ‘I still love myself’ pics or in other words all solo pics. I have seen one honeymoon album which consisted of only guy’s pics. It seemed that he had his honeymoon all alone :P. Poor guy.

Honeymoon is a lifetime spent in weeks. Cherish it, live it, enjoy it but don’t let people like me make fun of it.

P.S. - All these are my personal observations and pointing to anyone in particular.
P.P.S. – May be I’ll also do the same when it’s my turn :D.

The New Ramp

We have seen fashion shows on ramps, hotels, lounges and even restaurants. Recently I have discovered a new kind of an unconventional ramp. The reason behind calling it unconventional is that it is not primarily meant to display designer cloths, accessories, jewelry, footwear etc. The primary purpose of this ramp is…well any guesses…I’m sure you will not get this one…traveling. Yes I am talking about airports.

If I recall my childhood days, traveling to some place usually consisted of a long 12-24 hours journey in a train or a bus. My mother used to dress in a comfortable saree or kurta which was not very expensive or exclusive. The whole idea was to have an easy travel and prevent expensive attire from getting ruined. Now a day it’s a complete paradigm shift. When traveling has reduced from days to just an hour or so, the concern of comfort has already vanished. And with rising status of people the showoff business has taken a grand leap.

Now when you enter airports you are dazzled. Skimpy jeans, short skirts, hot pants, backless tops, halter necks, Armani jackets, designer wears, high pencil heels, cufflinks, accessories, expensive perfumes, watches, sunglasses, jewelry, handbags etc are a norm. You name it and you will find someone wearing it. Mothers have nannies to manage their kids as it is not possible for them to display style and cater to kid at the same time. Males are busy chatting and displaying their top end mobile phones giving a damn about…well…anything. Woo hoo it surely does look like a ramp.

So when you travel next time, there are two options. Either be a spectator and enjoy the show or be a model and rock the ramp.

Laws of attraction - The story of Venusians

So it’s the time for gals’ side story. Gals are supposedly more delicate creatures and their ways of expressions are very subtle and mostly consists of gestures, smiles, body language etc. So when guys believe in blurting out all what’s inside them, gals prefer a silent mode. Also when guys’ actions and behavior is pretty indicative of what is going inside them; it is very difficult to predict what is going on in gals’ mind or heart.

They care and care a lot. They care for their families, friends, colleagues, everyone. And so if they are attracted to a guy, they go an extra mile in this aspect. “Ohh!! You have got fever. You take rest and I’ll get you dinner.” “You are still in office. If there is some work related issue, please tell me. I am here to help.” These sweet gestures are enough to sweep anyone of their feet. A word of caution here – these feelings can be for good friends also and not necessarily for a person they are attracted to. So take some time before jumping into any conclusion.

Body language is more of a reliable indicator of attraction. Mostly gals won’t get physical to all the guys. This includes patting on someone’s back, holding hands, sleeping on your shoulder, caressing your hair, tickling you etc. So if they are doing all this to you, then there is certainly some spark between the two of you.

They make their presence felt. So if a gal likes you, she will be all around you. Even if you are separated from a distance, your mobile will keep beeping in regular intervals with her tiny texts. At the end of the day she will discuss all little little things that happened. And of course your mailbox will be flooded with her cute, pink forwards like flowers, teddies, romantic quotations etc.

They will dress to please you. Their wardrobe will suddenly be updated with all yours favorite colors and patterns. They will wear a smile on their lips and a twinkle in their eyes all day with just a single compliment from you.

They will buy you presents which will include all things you always wished to have. They will try to make all your events like parties, outings special and successful.

They will be vulnerable when you are around. They will discuss all their problems with you and will take all your suggestions seriously and will act on those.

Well if you are lucky enough, they will actually tell you what they feel about you. And if they don’t say, then you may have to guess from all the above indications. But again do remember the caution that I have mentioned. They may just be thinking of you as a good friend. But be optimistic guys, friendship leads to love.

This ‘Dil ka Dard’ can victimize anyone anytime. And when it hurts it shows. And when it hurts pleasantly it shows all the more. When next time you fall in the clutch of this highly contagious syndrome, do spread it :).

Where are we heading to....

Yesterday night I wasn’t feeling sleepy. After restlessly tossing in bed for sometime in the hope of getting a good sleep, I finally gave up. My cell phone showed 2:30 AM. What the hell was my first reaction. After sitting still and glaring at the darkness for sometime I decided to turn on my laptop and do some time pass. For people like us the word time pass is now confined to laptop, internet, chatting, orkutting etc. I always wondered why orkutting is not yet added in the dictionary. With recession seeing mass impacts and inclusion of ‘Bangalored’ in dictionary, orkutting is next to follow. Anyways that’s a topic for separate discussion.

So I logged in to see if some friends are online, of course the only hope I had was to find friends who are outside India . Or if insomnia has a mass strike too the way swine flu had then I could find my friends in India too. Unfortunately insomnia still has to catch up. Seeing no friend online was quite a disappointment. God!!! Now what? Suddenly something caught my attention. I saw my cousin online and his View my webcam at 2:30 AM was enough of a draft to snatch away my remaining slumber. And yes I am not being melodramatic and impulsive; the only reason for this bizarre reaction was that my cousin is in class 5th which means he is only 11-12 years of age.

I buzzed him and asked what is he doing? This is how our conversation went.

Me: Hey. What’s up?
My Cousin: Hey di. What keeps you awake this 2:30 ;-)
Me: Well. I should be the one asking this question.
My Cousin: Yeah…right. Well I am chatting with my friend.
Me: Hmmmm…is it not too late for that.
My Cousin: She is in US so I have to match the time.
Me: :O how come you have a friend in US.
My Cousin: She is my online buddy.
Me: Ohh ok. So what are you talking about? And what’s with the webcam?
My Cousin: Sorry di. It’s too personal to tell.
Me: Is anyone aware that you are up so late.
My Cousin: What are you talking about? They are going to reprimand me bad if they’ll come to know. Please don’t tell them.

OMG!!! Personal!!! Was my first reaction after this conversation. When I was of his age I didn’t even know what personal implies. For me computers were only meant for learning BASIC language and paint brush. Online buddies and webcam was a far cry. And I didn’t even dare to dream about doing something without telling my parents.

I decided to do the RCA of why there is such an enormous difference in thinking pattern of youth today. RCA!!! Uff these IT jargons won’t leave me alone even in the middle of the night. Btw RCA is Root Cause analysis. I could think of many reasons like – Impact of western culture, peer influence, increased nudity and profanity in cinema etc. All these reasons don’t even need further justification or explanation. And infact parents today are well aware of all these factors and they do try to prevent their kids. But I personally feel that the main reason for this drift is that parents of today are not able to spend much time with their kids. So when it is the time to imbibe values and teach culture to their children, parents are busy earning, working, partying, socializing and traveling. They are not able to give sufficient time to their children but they do provide swarming resources to them by fulfilling all the demands. This is making matters worse.

My chain of thoughts was broken by the alarm. It was 6:30 in the morning and time to get up. I wasn’t feeling too bad about the sleepless night as I at least gave a thought to a problem which I’ll be facing soon when I’ll have kids.

Advancing is not bad. We cannot expect things to be the same as they were twenty years back. This will be indicative of stagnancy and non progress. It is a great achievement to see children of today well versed with technologies like computers, internet, media, cellular phones. What is missing is the wisdom to distinguish between what is good and what is evil. If we elders can inculcate this sense in the coming generation, I see a bright future ahead of us.

Autumn Tree

There I see you going far but I cannot do anything
For that was destiny to do us apart
I always thought to hold you back with something
But I know you will not stay
You think that life will be the same without you
As I have so many still clinging on to me
You don’t know that I will not be the same when you are away
My dear friend stay happy wherever you go
But must not forget there is me standing right there where you left me
Still with open arms to embrace you
Says the tree to the departing leaf
No matter what happens to me in the years to come
I just want you to know that I will always love you..

Laws of Attraction

When you are attracted to someone it shows. Your whole body starts to speak out load about your latest heartache (please don’t read it as heart attack; I am just talking about ‘Dil ka Dard’). Your actions, body language, eyes, words all indicate your recent state of mind, heart, body and well ya other stuff. You unknowingly start doing things which at one point of time were so cliché. Lets explore some of the typical things that guys do when ya they have such a ‘Dil ka Dard’.

If they don’t know the girl very well, the first thing they will try to find out if she is single or not. “Going early today? Plans with boyfriend?”, “Does your boyfriend calls you by that name”, “I just loved your dress but I am afraid that my compliment will offend your boyfriend”, “Why are all pretty girls engaged? And since you are so damn pretty I need not to say more”, “I am going to a disc, will you accompany me? Of course if your boyfriend permits”. To all these questions mostly she will reply whether she has a boyfriend or not. So, the first step is successfully concluded. If she is single, bingo; life is a rainbow. If she is not, a booze party with the all ‘guy gang’ (oh please ignore the word party). The real agenda of the meet is Swearing and cursing the whole world which essentially starts with the entire female population but still hesitating to include the subject of interest (the degree of swearing increases exponentially with the amount of pegs went inside). Next day they puke out all the emotions and heartaches and are ready for next one.

In a group of ten when everybody is talking sense and she is uttering crap, all their attention is still towards her. “That’s what my lady will say”, “OMG! We think so alike”, “Ahhh! You just stole my words”, “You are so bright”, “I just love the way you say things” – these will be their common reactions.

Her every email is the most valued possession in their inbox. Replying to her “Good Morning” or “Cartoon of the day” email is more important then replying to “Issues related to your code” mail.

She will always look pretty even if she is wearing a dress which resembles some country’s flag. Fluorescent green and pink become their favorite colors when it comes to dressing to impress her.

Her every joke is funny. Even though her sense of humor sucks it’s their responsibility to laugh their heart out at her jokes.

For them she is the most vulnerable creature in this planet. If they slightly, unknowingly and mistakenly smacked her hand, they will caress it for hours and will apologize “you can’t count it” number of times for it.

Her sms inbox will be full of cute messages, romantic poems and emotional shayaris. Even if they send to other guys worst swearing and non veg messages, for her they expressions are always cute and cuddly.

They are her self appointed body guards. So dare if some other guy approaches her, they are going to take a good case of him. Waiting for her in office when she is working late, dropping her home at night, picking her up in the morning, tolerating all her tantrums and mood swings and eccentricities will be their self assigned duties.

This is just few of the symptoms. Of course some may differ from person to person. So if you don’t booze, you can cure the ache by listening to sad romantic songs, saying senti lines to your friends till they slap and kick your ass and ask you to stop the nautanki or locking yourself inside the room and coming out realizing that yeah no one cares a damn on such eccentricities. For some attraction is just day dreaming about the girl and enjoying the fact that all your friends call her ‘Bhabhiji’ but no intentions of actually going to her and proposing her. Well any which ways this temporary/permanent ‘Dil ka Dard’ is an experience in itself.

So if till now you are spared for heart aches, get a life dudes!

P.S. – This was guys’ side story. Coming soon is gals’ side story.

Yeh Dilli hain mere yaar

Few days back I was in Delhi . Finally I got to see the great Indian capital which is famous for its historical values, awesome food and big hearted people. The excitement was humongous. Infact I and Ujju decided to speak only Punjabi for our four days stay in Delhi , though we really suck at it. And so after all this bakar, leg pulling, muching and sleeping in the flight we finally landed. We included Rishi, Ujju and me. Well after landing and coming out of the airport a shockwave in the form of extreme Delhi heat hit us. Yes the heat was bad really bad, we were sweating profusely even at 1 o clock in the night. But yes when it’s a question of having a blast in a small four day trip nothing can stop us. And so with high spirits we started for an hour long drive to Rishi’s place. Delhi in night is quite different from Mumbai. Mumbai is more awake and more crowded all the time while Delhi was more like a half awake beauty. The entire conversation during the way made me aware of two things – Delhi has two ring roads outer and inner and if you traverse these you will see all of Delhi . And the second and most important thing that I learned was that Rishi knows very less of Delhi roads :P. So we finally reached Rishi’s place and I felt really bad to disturb uncle and aunty’s sleep in the middle of the night. After that I dozed off like a dog and don’t remember any more bakar.

Next day started with amazing parathas made by aunty, lil breakfast family chatting and rushing to occupy the washroom first to get ready. Important mention here is that Ujju took the longest time to get ready, he perhaps wanted to create a big impression on Delhi babes (tottaas as we call them with all our love). Rishi’s chacha ji gave us lift to Palika and saved us from the extreme heat. There we met more friends – Punu (Poonam), Tinu (Amit), these people I have always heard of but never got a chance to meet and Sakshi, the old FTP pal. Rishi by now was all shining, now I am not sure if that was because of shiny particles from the bouquet smeared to his face or because of Punu. Ujju was looking a little disappointed, no eye candy as yet for him. Palika was an amazing place. When you get a 350 Rs belt just for 80 bucks you are sure to love shopping there. Where Rado watch is bargained for 150 bucks, yups a duplicate one. Punu and Tinu were exceptionally good in bargaining. May be I’ll learn that skill from them someday. The only villain was heat. It was really really bad. After sauntering for sometime in Palika and Janpath it was time to rush home. There was a party at Rishi’s place in evening. The occasion was uncle’s birthday. The home was somewhat changed from what we have left in the morning. No no the wall color was still the same, it was just that there were so many people. Yes all relatives, family, friends, cousins, kids loitering around in the house. Everyone was so Punjabi, I could feel the Punjabi vibes of fun, laughter, eating, bakar all around me. And yes I loved it. So after havan and awesome dinner it was time to rock the night. So we planned to go to Elevates.

Elevates – one of the famous discs of Noida and I guess Delhi too. All gals (Pal, Punu and Sakshi) got ready in their jazzy, flashy outfits and high heels. All guys (Rishi, Ujju, Tinu and Sandesh) got dressed in stylish shirts, jeans and ofcourse formal shoes. I never understand why sneakers are not allowed in discs. Anyways that’s a different topic. The place was usual – loud, noisy, smoky and crammed. We danced there for four good hours and it was great fun. There were babes and dudes and couples all around. All the couples were passionately and intimately dancing with their partners. At 4 when all realized that we have reached our thresholds and gals cannot take those high heels anymore, it was time to move. We went straight to Rishi’s uncle’s home and once again I dozed off like a dog.

Next day again started with great breakfast of sandwiches and poha. This time it was chachi’s culinary skills. It was a lazy and sleepy day. Well if you party all night then next day is going to be gloomy. So we somehow dragged our asses out of the bed and by the time we got ready it was already 3 in the afternoon. It was the day of the big fat Indian wedding. Finally it was time to officially handover over bigtime rotlu buddy Div to Rahul. The plan for the day was to see Qutub Minar first and then to attend the wedding. The meeting point was GIP mall (or Spice mall) where Punu was waiting for us in the cab. The cab ride was ok, it was a decent cab and atleast AC was there for some relief. The first stop was Divya’s place. We wanted to see the bride before her big day or perhaps big night. Div was looking pretty exhausted (I can imagine), with almost 1 kg weight hanging from her each hand who will not be tired. We had a lil bakar with her, uncle and aunty. Then we moved and destination next was Qutub Minar. Well I liked the monument though I imagined it to be more elaborate. The night view was not something very great and so after clicking few pics we moved back to Divya’s place to get ready for wedding.

Wedding was in a garden. It was a huge garden, nicely decorated but yes the heat was killing. We met our old pals Khush and Abhishek there. After the usual bakar session we went to the room where Divya was sitting. My my, she looked like a doll. I have never seen her looking so pretty. Ofcourse makeup did the trick here, hehe, but truly she was flawless. Receiving the baraat and groom was also a great and funny experience. Now in Delhi or probably in Punjabis, I am not sure whose tradition is that, the groom has to bribe all her sister in laws before he can get in. So there was a bargaining session between the baraatis and all sister in laws and there was some literal pushing involved. Yes believe me we literally pushed the groom and the baraat with full force. Poor Rahul could barely manage to hold on to his sehra. Finally after much tussle the sister in laws finally agreed to take rupees five thousand and let the baraat in. Yeah it was fun though. There was one awesome babe at the wedding. A real eye candy, bigtime totta. All guys enjoyed staring at her. Rest of the wedding was usual and we came back home at 2:30 in night. And once again I dozed off like a dog.

Next day was not so happening. We already carried a tan coz of extreme heat and so we decided on our last resort of roaming in malls. We went to GIP mall, did bowling, some shopping, bakar and munching. We came back at 10 in night and at 12 o clock we celebrated uncle’s birthday. Rishi’s relatives were there and so had quite a blast in the night. Rishi’s cousin Prashni got a yummy black forest cake and we gifted uncle a huge flower vase. After 1:30 everyone dissipated and we finally called it a day.

So the day finally arrived. It was time to say bye bye to Delhi . We went to Spice mall in morning. I first time went to a 4D theatre. It was ok, not too great. At 3:30 we came back home. Then we played dumbsherads with aunty, chachi, Prashni and Daksh. Finally the cab came at 7 in eve and we left for airport.

Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna

It was going on and on. They both were somehow waiting for it to reach somewhere, some conclusion, some ending. Like a sailor struggling to reach to the shore. Every time when they met to discuss about the future of their relationship they were somehow lost in each other’s eyes. Those amazing eyes which at one point of life were the most precious treasures in the whole world. But this time they finally decided to talk once and for all to finish the miseries they both were going through.

He: I think we can still make it work. I just need some time.

She: I am ready to wait. You tell me that you will be mine after ten years then I will wait for ten years without a single word of whine. Can you assure me that?

He: Please understand that it is difficult for me to give any such commitment of time frame. All I can say is that I am trying.

She: I know that you are trying. I have been hearing this for long time and I always trusted you. But somehow you do not understand my situation. I can’t sleep in night thinking about our future, I can’t concentrate on work, I can’t enjoy anything, all I just keep thinking about is what next shock is waiting for me. I remember the lovely days I spent with you; I remember the ugly nights I have spent crying without you, I think this all is making me insane. I never thought that this relationship will give me so much pain.

He: I wish I could do something to lessen your pain. But somehow things are going out of my hand. I had always hoped that I will keep you happy but seems I am not able to that anymore. Please tell me what can I do to get you back to your ‘happy go lucky’ self?

She: If you really want to do something for me then just let me go. I had some great memories of the past with you and I atleast don’t want them to fade away because of our miserable present.

He: You know I can’t do that.

She: Life is not always the way you want it. You can’t promise to be with me and you don’t want me to go. I can’t live in such dilemma. Now since you are not able to decide its time for me to say ‘Good Bye’. I loved you and I love you but I will not always love you.

It was not easy for her to say all that. But may be he will never understand. She did cry her eyes out for so many days. But may be he will never understand. He did try to resolve things for good. But may be she will never understand.

One more year...

Today I turned 26. One more year passed. This year was particularly eventful, both at professional and personal front. I finally switched my job. It was a tough decision to leave my first job. I had great friends, colleagues and managers there. Work was easy, less hectic and travel was not at all tiring. Everything was good overall but I was not finding enough growth. Work was getting monotonous and less challenging and I was getting complacent and so decided to switch. Joining Techmahindra presented new challenges. New domain, projects and people. After initial discomfort, things soon became pleasant and people became friends.

On personal front I met some new people, made some new friends. Some special people walked in my life to stay forever. Presence of such people around me made life more beautiful, colorful and delightful.

One more year in the beautiful journey of life makes me feel a little older but at the same time fills me with zeal to face new challenges and to look forward to what interesting lies in the future.

Happy Birthday to me :-)

All Changes are not Good

When people say changes are good, have you ever asked them why? Today my place in office is changed and I am not at all happy for it. Its not that I resist all changes but this one is particularly bad because of many reasons.

My new seat is close to all my managers. That means whatever I’ll be doing it will be visible to everyone. And I do a lot of things which I wouldn’t like my managers to see like chatting, blogging, chain emails, smsing, talking on phone, surfing shopping and job sites, reading comics, playing games and ofcourse sleeping on my desk. It’s not that I’ll leave doing all these things but now I’ll have to be more careful.

Gallery is very far from my place. Since I have less work these days I used to spend a lot of time in gallery talking on phone. Anyways here a good point is that now I’ll be walking a little more to reach there, so a good exercise for me.

My place is very close to the washroom. Now it’s debatable whether it is good or bad. Since I am in an IT company which has a good standing and a standard to maintain, atleast washrooms will not stink. So I guess that shouldn’t be a reason to bother. But yeah I’ll continuously have to watch people rushing in and out which will be a kind of disturbance. But yeah in case of urgency I will not have to walk a lot and wait for long :).

Anyways no point complaining now, the best thing is to get adjusted soon and make the best of this new situation.

Like a cool breeze...

In the path of life where things are not always pleasant, people are not always loving and situations are not always favorable; there is someone waiting to come to you, give you a hug, kiss on your forehead and say “Don’t worry now, I will love you, take care of you. Through the thicks and thins of life whenever you will look up you will find me holding your hand. I will be your shade on sunny days, your warmth on cold nights. I will lighten your way on dark scary paths and give you the strength to fight your worst nightmares. I will give you wings to fly and explore your horizons. I will relieve your from all your pains and sorrows. No matter what happens I will always LOVE YOU."

How to say "Those three words"

Falling in love is easy, expressing it is tough.

I have seen lots of people around me struggling to say “I love You”. Somehow your head starts spinning, your hands and feet get numb, your vision turns blurred, your tongue is tied and the glory of the moment passes and leaves you thinking why I couldn’t say it. I may have exaggerated this a bit but I am sure that some people will agree with me.

Expressing love is not easy because when we think of doing that we get encompassed by many thoughts. “What if he/she says No”, “I don’t want to loose his/her friendship”, “Is this the right time to say it”, “Am I ready for this commitment”, “I will not be a laughing stock of all the people”, “When is the right moment to take this step”, “How will life will be after this proposition”.

I feel that few things should be thought of well before you think of expressing love. And here I am talking about serious love and commitment and not teenage flings. You should be sure that you are ready for a commitment and what will be the future of your relationship. One friend of mine has once said “I love you” to me. My very next question was “If I say I love u too, what does this mean to you. What have you decided for a relationship that we may form after my yes? What will be the future of it?” He had no answer and so clearly my answer was NO to him. So first answer these questions to yourself and when your are sure about things then its time to take the next step. Please don’t assume that if you have answers to all these questions you will surely get a Yes. But if you don’t have answers to all these questions you will surely get a NO.

Now you are ready to finally say it. Time and place does matter. Don’t choose a very crowded place or a rush hour. Try to go to his/her favorite place but don’t over prepare the place and surroundings. You don’t have to become a poet or a writer to say this. Most beautiful things are expressed in most simple words. You should have answers regarding the future of the relationship and how have you decided to go about things. You should be able to make the other person realize that how important he/she is for you and what positive impact they have in your life. But the most important thing is to keep an open mind. He/She may be a great friend of yours but it’s not necessary for them to reciprocate your feelings. And you can be great friends even after his/her NO.

Saying is always better then keeping it in heart and then regretting later that you should have said that. Go ahead and say it and if your feelings are true sooner or later you will be showered with love.

The Magic of First Kiss

“Finally the day has arrived to take a little step forward in our relationship. I am so happy and excited for today.” said Rohan to Priya before putting the phone down. They have been seeing each other for sometime and were considered as the best couple in their college. Both were smart, jovial, vivacious and perfect for each other. And tonight was the night they decided to have their first kiss, a milestone in their relationship.

“It’s a special day…hmmmmm…lets do some preparation.” thought Rohan as he entered the shopping mall. He got an expensive white shirt and a mild romantic perfume for the occasion. “White is her favorite, Priya is gonna love this.”

Priya was no less excited. She also did her bit of shopping by buying a strawberry flavored lip gloss. After all this is what the occasion wanted.

And so they met. The setting was perfect. Sun has settled down and cool breeze was blowing. The green grass and flowers were letting a nice feel and aroma to the surroundings. They sat down on the green grass carpet. Rohan held her hand; Priya with a little hesitation came close to him and closed her eyes. And then the magical moment happened when their lips touched for the first time.

“hmmmm…mmmmm…ahem…this was just so…ahhhh…how to put it…this was just so…HORRIBLE” thought Rohan. “Why did she have ONION parathas in dinner?”

Strawberry Lip Gloss – Rs. 350
White Shirt – Rs. 1500
Romantic Perfume – Rs. 2500
First kiss with a tint of ONION – Priceless :D

Blind Date - The Love Story - Part 1

She was nervous. It was the first time she was meeting him. Thoughts were surrounding her everywhere. “Will he like me or not? Are we the ones for each other? Does he love me?”

They first bumped into each other some eight months back. She was in final year of Law College and her brother from US has got her a new cellphone. Her curiosity with the new gadget somehow dialed a number and it was him at the other side. It was a normal two second wrong number chit chat. But there was some force somewhere acting in bringing these two souls together and so he called her back again. It was awkward for her to get a call from complete stranger whom number she dialed by mistake. And the first thought was that this guy is some bad, vagabond guy groping for a girl. But he sounded nice and she couldn’t refuse that she felt attracted to his voice. And so after initial awkwardness they started talking. And slowly he became a part of her life. He was the one voice she wished to listen before going to sleep. He was the one voice she wished to hear first in the morning. They used to talk about their likes, dislikes, dreams, aspirations, friends, family, work, society and almost everything. Her friends already started teasing her on her new found lover. Life was like a fairy tale.

He was an architect and was working with one US multinational firm. Till this time they were more then happy and contented talking to each other and so they never thought of an actual meeting. But one fine day he got to know that he will have to travel to California for some project in 2 weeks time. That was the time he asked her to meet him. She always wanted to meet him and so without a second thought she agreed. But soon the thought of meeting him made her miserable. The reason was that she was not good looking. She was little fat had wheatish complexion, rough hair and a slight limp in her right leg. He on the other hand was gorgeous. Six feet tall, nice built and fair. Though they have exchanged their pictures earlier but she was always in doubt that he will not love her after they meet. But anyways whatever will be the outcome, they were destined to meet.

A knock on the door brought her back from the trance. Her friends came to see her and boost her for the big day. “Life is so tough without friends” thought she. Somebody got her a new dress, somebody a new footwear and some were just busy putting makeup on her not so beautiful face, in the hope that this will make her shine on her big day. They all unanimously decided that a white Indian dress will be the best for the occasion. She always looked nice in whites, atleast people always said so. But she was not bothered about all that. Her heart was in a bigger trauma. So many memories from the past, so many doubts about the future. Her feeling of joy to meet him was crushed by so many second thoughts.

She was alone again. All her friends left. Her thoughts were running faster then time and tears were rolling down her eyes. The very idea of he leaving her was killing her. She cannot take it anymore and then almost impulsively reached out for the phone.

“Hello” he said and without waiting for her to say anything he continued, “I am so excited about today evening. I can’t express my feelings in words. I...”

“Listen” she interrupted in between. “There is something I want to say”, her voice trembled, her face was red and tears well rolling continuously. “I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to meet. I really like you but I don’t see my future with you. This may sound rough but I can’t live with this feeling anymore. I think we should just be apart and don’t try to see and talk to each other now”. She finally said those words, the words that bruised her heart so deep that the pain will never heal, the words that stabbed her soul, the words that shook her existence, the words that took away all her joy and love from her life.

He was dumbstruck. It was like someone hammered him so hard that his whole body was numb. “Who says that guys don’t cry” he thought wiping his tears. Before he could even think of anything to say she kept the phone down.

There was silence, dead silence. “Is it the same feeling that one gets just seconds before dying?” Both were thinking that. She was happy for him as she thought that he deserved someone much better then her. He was blank, thoughtless, vulnerable and unable to think what went wrong. She kept staring at the phone, a some part of her still felt that he will call her back, but he didn’t. “And why would he, I did so wrong to him. I don’t deserve him and his love. I don’t deserve anything in life.” thought she. And after crying profusely for sometime she slept.

All love stories don’t always have a happy ending. I don’t know about this one until I write the second part…

Brain Churning

An empty mind is a devil’s workshop. Your mind wanders and rambles when you don’t have anything to do or focus on. This piece of mine is an outcome of such a state of mind.

Have you ever asked yourself where the life is taking you? Are you happy with what you are doing and where you are heading to? Are you the person you always wanted to be? I know for sure that everyone has these questions in mind but most of the times we just ignore the answers. We all spend almost half of our lives sitting in the four walls of office seldom doing stuff that we really want to do. Yes we do earn decent enough to spend on fancy clothing, gadgets, food and drinks. But does that money really compensate for the things that we are missing.

Most of us are living alone and away from our families. The only time that we get with them is a ten minute phone talk at the end of the day and if the day was screwed then we don’t even enjoy those ten minutes. After spending like twelve hours at work we are too exhausted and drained to do anything. This anything includes all the stuff that we always desired to do like working out in gym, cooking, talking to people we love, hanging out with friends. For people who are not bachelors are missing a greater deal in life. Can any amount of money equal your kid’s first smile or first steps?

When was the last time you did something really challenging at work which if not anyone but made you proud of yourself? There had been no complains if we were able to work on things which interests us. We would not mind even working 24X7 if that is something of our own. But most of the times we are doing the same mundane copy paste job which provides no value add to us.

I know that some people will not agree with the ideas that I put forward here. They will always counter by saying that if you really want to do something you will do it. I agree to this but most of the times it’s easier said then done.

P.S. - Now I have to get back to work. So more brain churning later on when my mind is empty again.

Long Distance Relationship

“Absence is to love as wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small and kindles the great”

One kind of relationship which no one willingly wants to go for is a long distance. The very idea of not being able to hold your beloved’s hand, look into each other’s eyes or kiss each other; makes it miserable. There are times when you are low, there are times when you are high and in all those times you need your love close to you. So basically a long distance relationship is not a great idea. But the fact is some of the times it’s not really in our hands to decide what kind of relationship we want to be in. There may be other commitments (both professional and personal) which may prevent one from being physically close to their love for some time. And so instead of complaining about this one should look at the bright side of this kind of relationship.

A long distance relationship makes you expressive verbally. You cannot touch and see each other, than words are the only ways to convey feelings.

A long distance relationship makes you emotionally strong and stable. You try to resolve problems on your own instead of just relying on your partner.

A long distance relationship brings out the actual depth of a relation. As now the bonding between two people is beyond physical desires. As it is rightly said, absence makes the heart grow fonder.

A long distance relationship makes you realize the importance of your love. When you miss your love in all little little things, you come to know how much they are an integral part of your life.

A long distance relationship gives you a chance to give time to people who are also important in your life like your friends.

Ofcourse there is nothing greater than being with your love all the time. But a long distance relationship increases the ecstasy of meeting your love. And for relief of every love bird there, don’t forget that in today’s time your love is just a phone call away or just a few hours of flight away :-).

Life is Precious

I came across this video in Youtube and it really touched my heart.

In today's fast and speedy world where everyone is running behind something or the other, we have somehow forgotten to live. In the tussles and struggles for things like money, fame, power and other worldly pleasures life has taken a back seat. When did it happen last time that you thanked God for giving you a beautiful life? We are never done complaining about little things without realizing that there is nothing better than a healthy and peaceful life of yours and your loved ones.

We get only one Life...cherish it...

Pain of Loneliness…

"As I close my eyes on this day

All I can see is black gloomy walls around me

Gone were those blooming flowers

Gone were those clear blue skies

Gone were those chirping birds

Gone were those smiling faces

I always felt that someone will be around all the time

But my dreams are shattered

Even my shadow has parted way!!"

P.S. - These kind of thoughts come to your mind when you are made to work on a Saturday :-(