There is something about Honeymoon

Yes, there is something about Honeymoon that makes people well less astute. Yesterday I was browsing one of my friends recently uploaded honeymoon pics in orkut. It is really fun to see someone’s honeymoon album, for one reason that it shows out many fascinating and bizarre moments at the same time. Here is some of the interesting stuff that one can see in someone’s honeymoon album.

• Females in awfully revealing outfits. Females, who would normally not even sport a kurta without a duppatta, will be seen wearing backless evening gowns, strange swim wears, short skirts and tight tops showing some of their desirable and mostly all undesirable curves. I agree that honeymoon is a very private and intimate occasion which fully justifies wearing sensuous attires but posting that images in public for everyone to see is little beyond sensibility.

• ‘We two are one soul two bodies’ pose. In other words man and wife very close to each other holding their, well not just hands. Ok, we understand, it’s your honeymoon, time to get cozy-pozy with each other but please posting those moments in public portal is embarrassing.

• ‘See my hotel room/bed’ pics. Guys, nobody cares what was the color of your bed sheet and walls of your hotel rooms. If you really have the itch to post some pics, we won’t mind seeing some good sceneries and picturesque landscapes.

• Lots of pics, really lots. People post like hundred odd pics of their honeymoon. Right from ‘here I am packing’ to ‘on my way to airport’ to ‘my coolie, my driver, my maid’ to ‘long queue at airport’ to ‘inside the flight’ to ‘hotel room’ to ‘dining room’ to ‘the loo’, you name it and you will find the pic.

• ‘I still love myself’ pics or in other words all solo pics. I have seen one honeymoon album which consisted of only guy’s pics. It seemed that he had his honeymoon all alone :P. Poor guy.

Honeymoon is a lifetime spent in weeks. Cherish it, live it, enjoy it but don’t let people like me make fun of it.

P.S. - All these are my personal observations and pointing to anyone in particular.
P.P.S. – May be I’ll also do the same when it’s my turn :D.

The New Ramp

We have seen fashion shows on ramps, hotels, lounges and even restaurants. Recently I have discovered a new kind of an unconventional ramp. The reason behind calling it unconventional is that it is not primarily meant to display designer cloths, accessories, jewelry, footwear etc. The primary purpose of this ramp is…well any guesses…I’m sure you will not get this one…traveling. Yes I am talking about airports.

If I recall my childhood days, traveling to some place usually consisted of a long 12-24 hours journey in a train or a bus. My mother used to dress in a comfortable saree or kurta which was not very expensive or exclusive. The whole idea was to have an easy travel and prevent expensive attire from getting ruined. Now a day it’s a complete paradigm shift. When traveling has reduced from days to just an hour or so, the concern of comfort has already vanished. And with rising status of people the showoff business has taken a grand leap.

Now when you enter airports you are dazzled. Skimpy jeans, short skirts, hot pants, backless tops, halter necks, Armani jackets, designer wears, high pencil heels, cufflinks, accessories, expensive perfumes, watches, sunglasses, jewelry, handbags etc are a norm. You name it and you will find someone wearing it. Mothers have nannies to manage their kids as it is not possible for them to display style and cater to kid at the same time. Males are busy chatting and displaying their top end mobile phones giving a damn about…well…anything. Woo hoo it surely does look like a ramp.

So when you travel next time, there are two options. Either be a spectator and enjoy the show or be a model and rock the ramp.

Laws of attraction - The story of Venusians

So it’s the time for gals’ side story. Gals are supposedly more delicate creatures and their ways of expressions are very subtle and mostly consists of gestures, smiles, body language etc. So when guys believe in blurting out all what’s inside them, gals prefer a silent mode. Also when guys’ actions and behavior is pretty indicative of what is going inside them; it is very difficult to predict what is going on in gals’ mind or heart.

They care and care a lot. They care for their families, friends, colleagues, everyone. And so if they are attracted to a guy, they go an extra mile in this aspect. “Ohh!! You have got fever. You take rest and I’ll get you dinner.” “You are still in office. If there is some work related issue, please tell me. I am here to help.” These sweet gestures are enough to sweep anyone of their feet. A word of caution here – these feelings can be for good friends also and not necessarily for a person they are attracted to. So take some time before jumping into any conclusion.

Body language is more of a reliable indicator of attraction. Mostly gals won’t get physical to all the guys. This includes patting on someone’s back, holding hands, sleeping on your shoulder, caressing your hair, tickling you etc. So if they are doing all this to you, then there is certainly some spark between the two of you.

They make their presence felt. So if a gal likes you, she will be all around you. Even if you are separated from a distance, your mobile will keep beeping in regular intervals with her tiny texts. At the end of the day she will discuss all little little things that happened. And of course your mailbox will be flooded with her cute, pink forwards like flowers, teddies, romantic quotations etc.

They will dress to please you. Their wardrobe will suddenly be updated with all yours favorite colors and patterns. They will wear a smile on their lips and a twinkle in their eyes all day with just a single compliment from you.

They will buy you presents which will include all things you always wished to have. They will try to make all your events like parties, outings special and successful.

They will be vulnerable when you are around. They will discuss all their problems with you and will take all your suggestions seriously and will act on those.

Well if you are lucky enough, they will actually tell you what they feel about you. And if they don’t say, then you may have to guess from all the above indications. But again do remember the caution that I have mentioned. They may just be thinking of you as a good friend. But be optimistic guys, friendship leads to love.

This ‘Dil ka Dard’ can victimize anyone anytime. And when it hurts it shows. And when it hurts pleasantly it shows all the more. When next time you fell in the clutch of this highly contagious syndrome, do spread it :).

Where are we heading to....

Yesterday night I wasn’t feeling sleepy. After restlessly tossing in bed for sometime in the hope of getting a good sleep, I finally gave up. My cell phone showed 2:30 AM. What the hell was my first reaction. After sitting still and glaring at the darkness for sometime I decided to turn on my laptop and do some time pass. For people like us the word time pass is now confined to laptop, internet, chatting, orkutting etc. I always wondered why orkutting is not yet added in the dictionary. With recession seeing mass impacts and inclusion of ‘Bangalored’ in dictionary, orkutting is next to follow. Anyways that’s a topic for separate discussion.

So I logged in to see if some friends are online, of course the only hope I had was to find friends who are outside India . Or if insomnia has a mass strike too the way swine flu had then I could find my friends in India too. Unfortunately insomnia still has to catch up. Seeing no friend online was quite a disappointment. God!!! Now what? Suddenly something caught my attention. I saw my cousin online and his View my webcam at 2:30 AM was enough of a draft to snatch away my remaining slumber. And yes I am not being melodramatic and impulsive; the only reason for this bizarre reaction was that my cousin is in class 5th which means he is only 11-12 years of age.

I buzzed him and asked what is he doing? This is how our conversation went.

Me: Hey. What’s up?
My Cousin: Hey di. What keeps you awake this 2:30 ;-)
Me: Well. I should be the one asking this question.
My Cousin: Yeah…right. Well I am chatting with my friend.
Me: Hmmmm…is it not too late for that.
My Cousin: She is in US so I have to match the time.
Me: :O how come you have a friend in US.
My Cousin: She is my online buddy.
Me: Ohh ok. So what are you talking about? And what’s with the webcam?
My Cousin: Sorry di. It’s too personal to tell.
Me: Is anyone aware that you are up so late.
My Cousin: What are you talking about? They are going to reprimand me bad if they’ll come to know. Please don’t tell them.

OMG!!! Personal!!! Was my first reaction after this conversation. When I was of his age I didn’t even know what personal implies. For me computers were only meant for learning BASIC language and paint brush. Online buddies and webcam was a far cry. And I didn’t even dare to dream about doing something without telling my parents.

I decided to do the RCA of why there is such an enormous difference in thinking pattern of youth today. RCA!!! Uff these IT jargons won’t leave me alone even in the middle of the night. Btw RCA is Root Cause analysis. I could think of many reasons like – Impact of western culture, peer influence, increased nudity and profanity in cinema etc. All these reasons don’t even need further justification or explanation. And infact parents today are well aware of all these factors and they do try to prevent their kids. But I personally feel that the main reason for this drift is that parents of today are not able to spend much time with their kids. So when it is the time to imbibe values and teach culture to their children, parents are busy earning, working, partying, socializing and traveling. They are not able to give sufficient time to their children but they do provide swarming resources to them by fulfilling all the demands. This is making matters worse.

My chain of thoughts was broken by the alarm. It was 6:30 in the morning and time to get up. I wasn’t feeling too bad about the sleepless night as I at least gave a thought to a problem which I’ll be facing soon when I’ll have kids.

Advancing is not bad. We cannot expect things to be the same as they were twenty years back. This will be indicative of stagnancy and non progress. It is a great achievement to see children of today well versed with technologies like computers, internet, media, cellular phones. What is missing is the wisdom to distinguish between what is good and what is evil. If we elders can inculcate this sense in the coming generation, I see a bright future ahead of us.

Autumn Tree

There I see you going far but I cannot do anything
For that was destiny to do us apart
I always thought to hold you back with something
But I know you will not stay
You think that life will be the same without you
As I have so many still clinging on to me
You don’t know that I will not be the same when you are away
My dear friend stay happy wherever you go
But must not forget there is me standing right there where you left me
Still with open arms to embrace you
Says the tree to the departing leaf
No matter what happens to me in the years to come
I just want you to know that I will always love you..

Laws of Attraction

When you are attracted to someone it shows. Your whole body starts to speak out load about your latest heartache (please don’t read it as heart attack; I am just talking about ‘Dil ka Dard’). Your actions, body language, eyes, words all indicate your recent state of mind, heart, body and well ya other stuff. You unknowingly start doing things which at one point of time were so cliché. Lets explore some of the typical things that guys do when ya they have such a ‘Dil ka Dard’.

If they don’t know the girl very well, the first thing they will try to find out if she is single or not. “Going early today? Plans with boyfriend?”, “Does your boyfriend calls you by that name”, “I just loved your dress but I am afraid that my compliment will offend your boyfriend”, “Why are all pretty girls engaged? And since you are so damn pretty I need not to say more”, “I am going to a disc, will you accompany me? Of course if your boyfriend permits”. To all these questions mostly she will reply whether she has a boyfriend or not. So, the first step is successfully concluded. If she is single, bingo; life is a rainbow. If she is not, a booze party with the all ‘guy gang’ (oh please ignore the word party). The real agenda of the meet is Swearing and cursing the whole world which essentially starts with the entire female population but still hesitating to include the subject of interest (the degree of swearing increases exponentially with the amount of pegs went inside). Next day they puke out all the emotions and heartaches and are ready for next one.

In a group of ten when everybody is talking sense and she is uttering crap, all their attention is still towards her. “That’s what my lady will say”, “OMG! We think so alike”, “Ahhh! You just stole my words”, “You are so bright”, “I just love the way you say things” – these will be their common reactions.

Her every email is the most valued possession in their inbox. Replying to her “Good Morning” or “Cartoon of the day” email is more important then replying to “Issues related to your code” mail.

She will always look pretty even if she is wearing a dress which resembles some country’s flag. Fluorescent green and pink become their favorite colors when it comes to dressing to impress her.

Her every joke is funny. Even though her sense of humor sucks it’s their responsibility to laugh their heart out at her jokes.

For them she is the most vulnerable creature in this planet. If they slightly, unknowingly and mistakenly smacked her hand, they will caress it for hours and will apologize “you can’t count it” number of times for it.

Her sms inbox will be full of cute messages, romantic poems and emotional shayaris. Even if they send to other guys worst swearing and non veg messages, for her they expressions are always cute and cuddly.

They are her self appointed body guards. So dare if some other guy approaches her, they are going to take a good case of him. Waiting for her in office when she is working late, dropping her home at night, picking her up in the morning, tolerating all her tantrums and mood swings and eccentricities will be their self assigned duties.

This is just few of the symptoms. Of course some may differ from person to person. So if you don’t booze, you can cure the ache by listening to sad romantic songs, saying senti lines to your friends till they slap and kick your ass and ask you to stop the nautanki or locking yourself inside the room and coming out realizing that yeah no one cares a damn on such eccentricities. For some attraction is just day dreaming about the girl and enjoying the fact that all your friends call her ‘Bhabhiji’ but no intentions of actually going to her and proposing her. Well any which ways this temporary/permanent ‘Dil ka Dard’ is an experience in itself.

So if till now you are spared for heart aches, get a life dudes!

P.S. – This was guys’ side story. Coming soon is gals’ side story.

Yeh Dilli hain mere yaar

Few days back I was in Delhi . Finally I got to see the great Indian capital which is famous for its historical values, awesome food and big hearted people. The excitement was humongous. Infact I and Ujju decided to speak only Punjabi for our four days stay in Delhi , though we really suck at it. And so after all this bakar, leg pulling, muching and sleeping in the flight we finally landed. We included Rishi, Ujju and me. Well after landing and coming out of the airport a shockwave in the form of extreme Delhi heat hit us. Yes the heat was bad really bad, we were sweating profusely even at 1 o clock in the night. But yes when it’s a question of having a blast in a small four day trip nothing can stop us. And so with high spirits we started for an hour long drive to Rishi’s place. Delhi in night is quite different from Mumbai. Mumbai is more awake and more crowded all the time while Delhi was more like a half awake beauty. The entire conversation during the way made me aware of two things – Delhi has two ring roads outer and inner and if you traverse these you will see all of Delhi . And the second and most important thing that I learned was that Rishi knows very less of Delhi roads :P. So we finally reached Rishi’s place and I felt really bad to disturb uncle and aunty’s sleep in the middle of the night. After that I dozed off like a dog and don’t remember any more bakar.

Next day started with amazing parathas made by aunty, lil breakfast family chatting and rushing to occupy the washroom first to get ready. Important mention here is that Ujju took the longest time to get ready, he perhaps wanted to create a big impression on Delhi babes (tottaas as we call them with all our love). Rishi’s chacha ji gave us lift to Palika and saved us from the extreme heat. There we met more friends – Punu (Poonam), Tinu (Amit), these people I have always heard of but never got a chance to meet and Sakshi, the old FTP pal. Rishi by now was all shining, now I am not sure if that was because of shiny particles from the bouquet smeared to his face or because of Punu. Ujju was looking a little disappointed, no eye candy as yet for him. Palika was an amazing place. When you get a 350 Rs belt just for 80 bucks you are sure to love shopping there. Where Rado watch is bargained for 150 bucks, yups a duplicate one. Punu and Tinu were exceptionally good in bargaining. May be I’ll learn that skill from them someday. The only villain was heat. It was really really bad. After sauntering for sometime in Palika and Janpath it was time to rush home. There was a party at Rishi’s place in evening. The occasion was uncle’s birthday. The home was somewhat changed from what we have left in the morning. No no the wall color was still the same, it was just that there were so many people. Yes all relatives, family, friends, cousins, kids loitering around in the house. Everyone was so Punjabi, I could feel the Punjabi vibes of fun, laughter, eating, bakar all around me. And yes I loved it. So after havan and awesome dinner it was time to rock the night. So we planned to go to Elevates.

Elevates – one of the famous discs of Noida and I guess Delhi too. All gals (Pal, Punu and Sakshi) got ready in their jazzy, flashy outfits and high heels. All guys (Rishi, Ujju, Tinu and Sandesh) got dressed in stylish shirts, jeans and ofcourse formal shoes. I never understand why sneakers are not allowed in discs. Anyways that’s a different topic. The place was usual – loud, noisy, smoky and crammed. We danced there for four good hours and it was great fun. There were babes and dudes and couples all around. All the couples were passionately and intimately dancing with their partners. At 4 when all realized that we have reached our thresholds and gals cannot take those high heels anymore, it was time to move. We went straight to Rishi’s uncle’s home and once again I dozed off like a dog.

Next day again started with great breakfast of sandwiches and poha. This time it was chachi’s culinary skills. It was a lazy and sleepy day. Well if you party all night then next day is going to be gloomy. So we somehow dragged our asses out of the bed and by the time we got ready it was already 3 in the afternoon. It was the day of the big fat Indian wedding. Finally it was time to officially handover over bigtime rotlu buddy Div to Rahul. The plan for the day was to see Qutub Minar first and then to attend the wedding. The meeting point was GIP mall (or Spice mall) where Punu was waiting for us in the cab. The cab ride was ok, it was a decent cab and atleast AC was there for some relief. The first stop was Divya’s place. We wanted to see the bride before her big day or perhaps big night. Div was looking pretty exhausted (I can imagine), with almost 1 kg weight hanging from her each hand who will not be tired. We had a lil bakar with her, uncle and aunty. Then we moved and destination next was Qutub Minar. Well I liked the monument though I imagined it to be more elaborate. The night view was not something very great and so after clicking few pics we moved back to Divya’s place to get ready for wedding.

Wedding was in a garden. It was a huge garden, nicely decorated but yes the heat was killing. We met our old pals Khush and Abhishek there. After the usual bakar session we went to the room where Divya was sitting. My my, she looked like a doll. I have never seen her looking so pretty. Ofcourse makeup did the trick here, hehe, but truly she was flawless. Receiving the baraat and groom was also a great and funny experience. Now in Delhi or probably in Punjabis, I am not sure whose tradition is that, the groom has to bribe all her sister in laws before he can get in. So there was a bargaining session between the baraatis and all sister in laws and there was some literal pushing involved. Yes believe me we literally pushed the groom and the baraat with full force. Poor Rahul could barely manage to hold on to his sehra. Finally after much tussle the sister in laws finally agreed to take rupees five thousand and let the baraat in. Yeah it was fun though. There was one awesome babe at the wedding. A real eye candy, bigtime totta. All guys enjoyed staring at her. Rest of the wedding was usual and we came back home at 2:30 in night. And once again I dozed off like a dog.

Next day was not so happening. We already carried a tan coz of extreme heat and so we decided on our last resort of roaming in malls. We went to GIP mall, did bowling, some shopping, bakar and munching. We came back at 10 in night and at 12 o clock we celebrated uncle’s birthday. Rishi’s relatives were there and so had quite a blast in the night. Rishi’s cousin Prashni got a yummy black forest cake and we gifted uncle a huge flower vase. After 1:30 everyone dissipated and we finally called it a day.

So the day finally arrived. It was time to say bye bye to Delhi . We went to Spice mall in morning. I first time went to a 4D theatre. It was ok, not too great. At 3:30 we came back home. Then we played dumbsherads with aunty, chachi, Prashni and Daksh. Finally the cab came at 7 in eve and we left for airport.